You are not alone

By Laura Kohler and Katie Rössler

Here are the things they don’t always tell you about Postpartum Depression and Anxiety:

You may have vivid, upsetting dreams.
You are not alone.

You may not want to get out of bed for days, even weeks.
You are not alone.

You may daydream about horrible things happening to your baby … you may even picture yourself doing it.
You are not alone.

You may go a whole day with no appetite.
You are not alone.

You may go a whole day eating everything around you.
You are not alone.

You may experience insomnia that makes no sense because you are sleep deprived.
You are not alone.

You may struggle to connect with your baby.
You are not alone.

You may cry or want to cry all the time.
You are not alone.

You may feel angry and lash out at others.
You are not alone.

You may have feelings of guilt that you are not doing enough or that you are not enough.
You are not alone.

You may struggle to remember things, even things just said to you.
You are not alone.

We didn’t come up with this list out of the blue. We are sharing experiences we have had, women in our family have had, our girlfriends have had, and stories we have heard from others. The end result is: You are not alone.

For some, going to a therapist and learning coping skills during this post-baby time is helpful. For others, getting on medication alleviates the symptoms enough to feel like themselves again. Either way, you are not alone. Do not be afraid to talk about what you are experiencing. Partners don’t always get it. Mothers and mother-in-laws don’t always remember, but we do.  Just because the person you’re sharing with isn’t taking your concerns seriously doesn’t mean your concerns aren’t not serious; it just means you should talk to someone else.

Don’t let an off-hand dismissal or an assertion that “it could be worse!” keep you from getting the help you deserve. Beware of the “it’s just a phase.” comment as well. If you don’t feel comfortable or heard by those in your circle of family and friends, try looking for a professional. Even then, you should make sure you feel that the therapist is the right fit. We all need someone who listens to us, who validates our concerns, who helps us understand what we’re feeling and why we’re feeling it.

We know you have very little energy, but you are worth taking care of. Reach out today to someone you feel is safe and let them know what you are going through. If you have no one, choose an Über Mom in our group because you are not alone and you should never have to feel like it either!

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